CAPITAL BRIDE by Cynthia Woolf tells the story of how Sarah Johnson agreed to be a mail order bride and fell in love with her husband. While the plot has promise, the book unfortunately delivers unbelievable dialogue and contrived scenes. I give this book one star, but hope that a revised version will be published soon so that I can enjoy the interesting plot.
Sarah Johnson was engaged to a man who died at Bull Run. They were not able to get married before he was unexpectedly called up to war, but the time they had was used to make a baby, MaryAnn. Sarah's parents kicked her out of the house when they found out she was pregnant, but her Aunt Gertrude took her in. Five years later, Aunt Gertrude dies leaving everything to Sarah's cousin, William, except a small amount of money. Without Gertrude, Sarah is homeless.
William is obsessed with Sarah and tries many times to get her to marry him, but she says no every time he asks. Sarah is considered an outcast by society due to her state of unwed motherhood and hopes that being a mail order bride will help her start over. When Sarah marries John Atwood, William changes tactics and follows her to Colorado to "bring her home." Drama ensues with fire and guns. Even Sarah is armed for protection, and the entire family has to do their part to keep the family together.
I was intrigued by this novel when I read the plot summary and was really looking forward to a feel good kind of book. Unfortunately, the book did not deliver. There was a happy ending, for sure, but the story was all bare bones. It lacked character development and realistic dialogue. The pace was slow. I kept expecting it to get to the good part, but "the good part" was a let down because it was so sudden, almost as if this were the Cliff Notes to the full-length novel. The storytelling was stilted and didn't really flow. It needs transitions between scenes and dialogue.
For instance, the part of the story covering Sarah's relationship with MaryAnn's father is told quickly via narration and referenced a few times via dialogue, but this part of the story would absolutely add much needed character development and depth to the book. I vote for an expansion of this part of the story.
Also, the part about William's obsession with Sarah could easily be developed to show his increasingly insane thoughts. When Sarah leaves for Colorado, the reader just thinks he is being a loving cousin wanting the best for her, when in reality he's already been plotting for a while about how to win her.
I would also have liked there to be some more flesh on the ending. The resolution of the Atwood family's problems are wrapped up a little too neatly and could be fleshed out to add tension to the story. The expansion of these parts of the book would add depth and credibility to the romantic relationship between husband and wife, showing the development of the characters' feelings.
Finally, the book needs another round of editing for grammar, spelling and punctuation in order to convey the story clearly.
Issues aside, I think the ideas behind the plot have merit and would make a great book. I would definitely be interested in reading any revised versions that are published.
*Review originally written for The Romance Reviews at http://www.theromancereviews.com/viewbooks.php?bookid=9002
